The only thing getting me through this deployment is my friends, and keeping busy. I work and do so much during the day so when I come home Im so tired and really can’t do much besides get ready for bed and pass out. I have to stay busy, if Im not constantly doing something, I get really sad, and I do shut down and I won’t be able to do anything for days. Some may think that thats ridiculous, or that Im being over dramatic but I still can’t help the way that I feel. On some days I won’t do enough and I have some extra time to myself which always ends up with me in bed, crying.
Some days at work ill have to take a few minutes to myself because I will start to randomly cry, I can’t tell him how may day is going, I can’t tell him the exciting news that I get, I cant tell him anything about my life, and I know nothing about his life right now and what he’s doing, or how he is doing and that sucks sometimes. Its hard not to think about it and sometimes I just cant help it. For the most part it really helps that I do work so much and when Im not working, Im enjoying my times with some friends, and going out doing things that I wouldnt normally do with my boyfriend being here. I get that thats not always healthy but when he was here we couldnt talk all the time, we had very different schedules so I wouldnt go out often so that I could stay in and talk to him, and video chat him. Im okay with making those sacrifices to talk to him. I also like to work out in my free time because to me thats the healthiest way to keep my mind off of it, and its really good for me.
Everyone is different, and everyone handles things in their own way, which ever way that you decide to handle your SO being on deployment is OK. As long as its in a healthy way and not harming you or anyone else. If crying more than usual is your thing then you cry if it helps. Its okay to let out your feelings, its so bad and unhealthy to just bottle up in your feelings especially if people are telling you how to feel, and are being like “well its only 6 months” or its only so and so months, ITS OKAY TO BE SAD. You can feel however you want, don’t let anyone tell you what you should be feeling.