I’m just trying to get my blog up and running, I’m still new at this and dont fully get the jist of how this site actually works. Forgive me! But I hope to have everything up and running within the next week. Right now everything is pretty bland please give me time to play around with everything to give my page more life. I hope y’all stick around to see what I have to say, and I hope I get to hear back from y’all as well!
Some day are harder than others, it will be okay. If you are ever feeling sad and lonely try to go on Facebook and find a military group I recently did and oh my gosh my life has changed. So far I’m loving the group, I am still young and it can sometimes just be filled with old women nagging about their husbands but its okay I’m sure that will be one day. I don’t know any of the women in the group personally yet, and I try not to be judgement of any of the girls in the group. The military is NOT my whole life, my life does not revolve about the military, it does not control me. I refuse for that to happen, it not a life I want. I see these women and their complete lives revolves around the fact that their SO is gone, and how they just cant go on and have their own life. Im trying to understand this because Im having some trouble with it. I don’t love my SO any less than these women do, I just cant stop, fall apart, and put my whole life on hold because my SO is currently on a deployment. In my opinion my world doesn’t work that way, and if it did my SO would come home to a disaster. Its so extremely hard being away from someone that you love so much but you have to try your hardest to keep going and find a healthy outlet instead of just shutting down.
Im sorry for this small little mini rant I just was wondering if anyone felt the same way I do, or if anyone doesnt agree with me to go ahead and let me know cause I really would love to understand why some women put everything on pause and why they can justify it I guess may be the right word. I don’t mean for this to come from a judgemental place, if this does offend you I do apologize.
The only thing getting me through this deployment is my friends, and keeping busy. I work and do so much during the day so when I come home Im so tired and really can’t do much besides get ready for bed and pass out. I have to stay busy, if Im not constantly doing something, I get really sad, and I do shut down and I won’t be able to do anything for days. Some may think that thats ridiculous, or that Im being over dramatic but I still can’t help the way that I feel. On some days I won’t do enough and I have some extra time to myself which always ends up with me in bed, crying.
Some days at work ill have to take a few minutes to myself because I will start to randomly cry, I can’t tell him how may day is going, I can’t tell him the exciting news that I get, I cant tell him anything about my life, and I know nothing about his life right now and what he’s doing, or how he is doing and that sucks sometimes. Its hard not to think about it and sometimes I just cant help it. For the most part it really helps that I do work so much and when Im not working, Im enjoying my times with some friends, and going out doing things that I wouldnt normally do with my boyfriend being here. I get that thats not always healthy but when he was here we couldnt talk all the time, we had very different schedules so I wouldnt go out often so that I could stay in and talk to him, and video chat him. Im okay with making those sacrifices to talk to him. I also like to work out in my free time because to me thats the healthiest way to keep my mind off of it, and its really good for me.
Everyone is different, and everyone handles things in their own way, which ever way that you decide to handle your SO being on deployment is OK. As long as its in a healthy way and not harming you or anyone else. If crying more than usual is your thing then you cry if it helps. Its okay to let out your feelings, its so bad and unhealthy to just bottle up in your feelings especially if people are telling you how to feel, and are being like “well its only 6 months” or its only so and so months, ITS OKAY TO BE SAD. You can feel however you want, don’t let anyone tell you what you should be feeling.
Have you ever put any thought into what to do with those old letters you and your significant other wrote to each other while y’all were separated? For the longest time each letter I got from my boyfriend I kept under my pillow. Eventually the more I got I just kept them on the side of my bed, for some odd reason I felt that, thats just where they should be, it made me feel better that they were so close to me.
When he got back from boot camp I just moved the letters too my desk and I never really looked at them. Occasionally I would read them when I was feeling down, when I was feeling unsure, or just because I wanted to read them randomly. I also, decided that I should probably do something with my letters instead of just leave them laying around so heres a few ideas for you guys to do something better with your letters than letting them just lay around and collect dust.
- Shadow box. Shadow box your letters! This is exactly what I did and I love it, I got mine just from the local hobby lobby, but any walmart, target, or michaels should carry them also. All the letters I received from him are displayed beautifully wrapped in twine, with a picture of us above it, and a military coin that I received from our first submariners ball together.
- Publish them. I recently was googling what to do with letters that I wanted to preserve forever and I came across a site called lulu.com, here you can actually publish a hard copy of all your love letters into a hard back or soft back book, you can even publish it as an ebook copy.
- Scrapbook them. This is such a simple, easy, and fun way to save all your letters. You can decorate and make it look any way that you want, and if you have children it’ll be a fun activity to do with them as well. You ca add pictures of y’all, your family any kind of memorable things that you want.
My name is Brooke, and I am a military girlfriend. I understand that in the militaries eyes, I am nothing, but in my sailors eyes I am his everything. My boyfriend has served for two years now and this is his first deployment. Im not a fancy writer or anything like that, just a girl starting a blog as a way to vent and possibly help others feel like they aren’t alone in this.
THE D WORD
Deployment is a BIG word to handle, I dont even like the word. Deployment for me means radio silence, sleepless nights, and constant worries. When my boyfriend told me he was going to deploy we were talking over the phone and I felt like a train had just hit my body. I knew he was excited because this is what he has been waiting for, for months now, and I didnt want to ruin that for him but him leaving was my worst nightmare. I felt like I had to pretend that I was so happy, and not worried at all. When he told me he didnt know much of the details about it he just knew that it was for sure happening and it was happening soon.
In my head things couldn’t get worse, we were already over 2,000 miles away from each other and now we had to add even more distance. Im new at this I don’t know how to handle this in any way, shape or form. This is terrifying, and I get that we are not married yet but this is what I signed up for. I just keep telling myself that we knew this day was going to come and it would just be like boot camp we say. Just a really long bootcamp.
Its going to be a really long and scary ride but it’ll all be worth it in the end when he comes home safely, and I can finally see him again. Its only been 2 months since we last saw each other which isn’t long at all. This deployment will make it the longest that we will go without seeing each other in the past seven years. Its gonna be a tough one.
So this is where it all begins…
I am a military girlfriend. Not a wife a girlfriend, I’m nothing as far as the military sees. I know this because I’m constantly reminded. I recently tried to join a Facebook group for where my boyfriend will be stationed for the next couple of months, and go figure I was denied. So I tried to join it again, thinking it may have just been an oversight. I was wrong. Within the next couple of hours I received a message from one of the admin wives asking if I could stop requesting to join that it’s for wives and husbands only, because I was “just the girlfriend”.
Nothing upsets me more than being unincluded because we are not married. But I get that that’s how the military works. I get that when someone’s significant other goes into the military they tend to drop everything, get married, pack up and move around the country. I have a ton of friends who did that, but that isn’t me, that isn’t us. I’m. It saying we aren’t getting married anytime soon but I want to get married on my terms and how I want to have it not some quicky before boot camp. There’s nothing wrong with doing that at all! That’s just something I don’t want for myself.
Just because you are “just the girlfriend” doesn’t mean that your significant other doesn’t love you any less than someone who is married. DO NOT let anyone imply different. You matter to him or her and that’s all that matters.